Thin Mints Make Thick Thighs

I mean, what’s in a name? Now, look, I have no aspirations to be stick thin, but whoever named Thin Mints knew what they were doing.

Only thing thin about those mints is the cookie... that delectable chocolate-smothered wafer with a perfectly crispy, crunchy texture that makes you raise your hand and say ‘give me a case!’ whenever a chipper smock-wearing girl scout comes knocking on your door (or, more likely, their parent sends you a website link on behalf of their industrious cookie-slinging entrepreneur/kid boss… FWIW, I have been both parent and cookie slinger).

I’m excellent at remembering useless facts... and I feel like I’m exposing the Girl Scouts establishment… but I’m pretty sure they used to tell us (back when I was a cookie slinger in the late 90’s… ok, yeah, 80’s.) that we can say there’s more fat in an apple than two Shortbread cookies.

Shortbread. The ‘short’ in shortbread is for SHORTENING. That is FAT, people! Apples have no fat. They had these adorable little Girl Scouts running around just spreading false claims. The. Nerve. Between those and the Thin Mints, well…

I’m still not mad at them, because they make some good cookies, but don’t sleep. These little people and their cookies are coming for our wallets and waistlines.